Two accountancy students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
The second student replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want’.”
The first student nodded approvingly. “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
An architect, an artist and an accountant were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The accountant said, “I like both. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done.”
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?”
“That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”